she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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