It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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