I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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