I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
