what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize