just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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