I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
