I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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