Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
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Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
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I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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