Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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