It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
