wanna go halves on a baby?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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