you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
