TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She's the barista slut.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
