She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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