He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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