I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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