so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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