Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
