Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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