You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
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there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
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I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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