you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
