Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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