Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
