3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
