You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
