can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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