Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
