what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
ok first of all what the fuck
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
