he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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