Swine flu. Run for my life!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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