ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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