the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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