I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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