Where is the hickey?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
