It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
