I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
