Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
