I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize