I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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