i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize