YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
