Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
