is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
