so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
