Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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