i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I smell like Dick and happiness
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
