You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
