I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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