I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
