Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
