i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
