your room smells of hookers.
And success
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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