It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
