Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
