Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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