I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
