If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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