He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
