Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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