like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just had sex bonerless
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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