I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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