he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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